Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Luke Fortier's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, December 20th, 2007
12:12 pm	MAJOR NEWS FLASH Tom Tancredo was running for president (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 6th, 2007
8:31 pm	Mitt Hey Mr Mitt shoot yourself in the face! You dont believe in anything and your religion speach just proved that you are an A-Hole and should just kill yourself. We do not live in a singular relgious country. Being an atheist and believing in the actual founding documents as more important than your book which says that Heaven is in Missiouri (seriously have you been there?) means to you that I should never run for public office? You seriously are unamerican and need to die. (Comment on this)
Monday, November 26th, 2007
9:32 pm	The Wizard Tonight for the first time since 1990 I watch one of the greatest 80's movies ever. Thanks to beating Chris in fantasy football last year I had the privilege to watch The Wizard. This movie stars future Movie Hall of Famers: Fred Savage (a classic child star who peaked at 17 only to make a come back directing an episode of the smash hit tv show "Cavemen") Luke Edwards (Who peaked at 8 then died in a tragic drunk elephant accident in 2005) Jenny Lewis (Who I thought was Kerri Green, but turns out is just a poor man's Kerri Green who starred in Goonies. But life worked out for her cause now she is in Rilo Kiley) Jackey Vinson (Who kinda looks like me if I was more of a prick, yes more of a prick it could happen) This movie opened my eyes to the greatness one can get from seeing an Autistic person can do in athletic competition. While never saying Luke Edward's character Jimmy Woods has Autism it is rather obvious watching it today since it seems like 1 in 2 kids born in the 00's has autism. Jimmy Woods was the first in a line of great Autistic athletes like Manny Ramirez and Jason McElwain (if you dont know Jason's story google him). Another great thing this masterpiece has going for it is the frequent use of the New Kids on the Block song Hangin' Tough. While not the greatest song ever maybe quite possibly the most brainless. Seriously how did these people sustain a career longer than a one hit wonder? Also all 5 members are still living off the money they made in 1990 amazing. I knew I should have learned to dance and sing in preschool, but I was preoccupied watching the Celtics, Red Sox, Bruins and Patriots loose the Championship in the late 80s. Oh right back to The Wizard. This movie really has it all from the first use of the Nintendo Power Glove to the first sighting of Super Mario Brothers 3 (Seriously what genius asian at Nintendo said "Hey lets make a movie to launch SMB3!" Fucking Genius! and finally that awesome fake dino Man why did the 80s have to end in 1993? We should have forced it to at least 1997, but alas the 90's had to start sometime or another. Anyway I hope this trip down memory lane was worth it to the 3 retards that will read this shit. While we are all here I want to throw out some shout outs for my dog Harley and his killer shadow boxing skills. If you have not seen it you really need to watch it at the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7fKHHRring (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 7th, 2007
7:41 pm	Dear Rush Limbaugh Shut up and die...you are a piece of shit and deserve to be sent to Iraq and anally raped by the US Military, but they are too good for that and would probably treat you a lot better than you treat them. You are a piece of shit and deserve a bullet to the back of your skull, just like the current resident president George Bush. I cant wait til both of you are dead so I can go to your grave and take a giant shit on it. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 3rd, 2007
1:06 pm	I am sad I lost at mega millions because if I had I would have offered $50,000,000 for the head of either Osma Bin Laden or George HW Bush. Both are personally responsible for the death of thousands of americans. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
11:37 pm	Perfection Ok in the last week I have had two brushes with perfection. 1. Thursday June 6th - Curt Shilling perfect for 4 and 2/3 innings. No hitter thru 8 and 2/3 innings. Gave up one hit then shut the door on a complete game 1-hit shutout winning 1-0. What a game. The would crowd was up and cheering on when Shannon Stewart stepped to the plate. The oakland fans cheered when he got a hit, but they all would admit that if he popped out to first they would have been happier. 2. Tuesday June 12th - Max Scherzer perfect for 7 complete innings. Only thrown 81 pitches in those 7 complete innings, but his manager had him on a 75 pitch count thus he was replaced to start the 8th. I get the reason for a pitch count, but a perfect game is huge!! I think he would have done it too. He had 13 strikeouts in 7 innings and hit 97 on the gun with his 3rd to last pitch of the night. He was in the zone and it was amazing. Then in the 8th inning his shitty reliever walked the first guy (ending the perfect game) then gave up a hit to the third guy (ending the no-hitter). Then in the 9th he gave up 3 hits and 4 runs. What a downer. Also if Max was able to pull it off I would have been the Official Scorer for a Perfect Game in my first season in the minors, something most scorers never get to have their names attached to. Dam it would have been great. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 7th, 2007
12:08 am	Dear YouTube, Someone needs to post George Muresan's classic ESPN SportsCenter Ads. They where the greatest things ever. If you work at ESPN and you have a copy of this please do this. Sidenote: Sox are 0-4 this year with me in the crowd, do I really go to tomorrows game? Second Sidenote: Can All Basian Fantasy Football support 16 teams and if so how fucking nuts would a live draft be? That is all. Luke (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 6th, 2007
7:56 am	Dear God part 4: The Return of the Messiah So god you failed me on Dear God, Dear God 2: Back for more Cash and Dear God part 3: Revenge of Jesus, but my unloving friend you are getting a forth chance. Today I will be purchasing a lottery ticket for the Big Game Mega Millions and you as my friend are going to make sure I win. The prize is about $355,000,000. If you make this happen I will give money to all organizations that help divide church and state. Like the atheist organizations taking the administration to court. Because if you are a true believer in history it was the church who wanted to be separate from the government because it demeans the church. Ok also I am willing to give the first bum to ask me for change $1000 this time. Ok now get to work. (Comment on this)
7:40 am	Arnold how I love thee!! So Gov. Arnold has been trying to get some federal funds to help out the citris farmers of California. There was a big freeze that killed a lot of farms. Currently all that is needed to get these funds is Mr Bush's signature. The great part of this discussion is that they keep playing speaches by Arnold about this issue. When he says Freeze its just like he is saying it from the awful batman movie where his tag line was "I am Mr Freeze!" Now if he could work in the following lines into his next speach I would be extermely happy! 1. Let's kick some ice! 2. Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom. 3. If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday finest. It's time to feast! 4. Their bones will turn to ice! Their blood will freeze in my hands! 5. I will blanket the city in endless winter. First Gotham, and then the world. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 2nd, 2007
2:57 pm	Why is it that no other country can build nukes but we can get even more??? Feds select new nuclear warhead design By H.JOSEF HEBERT, AP Writer WASHINGTON - The Bush administration selected a design Friday for a new generation of atomic warheads, taking a major step toward building the first new nuclear weapon since the end of the Cold War nearly two decades ago. The military and the Energy Department selected a design developed by the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California over a competing design by the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico. The decision to move ahead with the warhead, which eventually would replace the existing arsenal of weapons, has been criticized as sending the wrong signal to the world at a time when the United States is assailing attempts at nuclear weapons development in North Korea and Iran and striving to contain them. But military and Energy Department officials said the new U.S. warhead will not add to the nuclear arsenal, but replace existing warheads with ones that are safer and more reliable. "This is not about starting a new arms race," said Thomas P. D'Agostino, acting head of the DOE's National Nuclear Security Administration, which oversees the nuclear weapons programs. D'Agostino said that both the Los Alamos and Lawrence Livermore designs were contingent on not requiring nuclear testing. If tests were required in a design, "We were not going to go forward," he said. D'Agostino said that engineers over the next year will focus on developing cost estimates and defining the scope of the program and a schedule for its development. After that, decisions will be made on actually building the warhead. The warhead has been the focus of an intense competition between Los Alamos and Lawrence Livermore, the government's two premier nuclear weapons labs. The two facilities submitted separate designs nearly a year ago. Lawrence Livermore's design is based on a warhead actually tested in an underground detonation in the 1980s. Los Alamos had a design based on a fresh approach that has not undergone testing. One of the assurances given by defense officials to Congress is that the new warhead will not have to undergo actual testing. Once developed, it would be used in the Trident missiles on submarines and eventually would replace warheads on the Air Force's missile arsenal, officials said. Administration officials, including the military, have argued that today's aging warheads are harder to maintain and as they age it will become more difficult to ensure their reliability. The new design is advertised as being more robust with additional features to safeguard them against possible theft or misuse. Of overriding concern to members of Congress has been that the warhead be developed without the need for underground tests. The administration has sought to assure Congress that the design would not require such testing. The administration also argues that a phasing out of current warheads with the more modern design will allow additional reductions in the number of warheads that will be needed. The decision Friday establishes a clear blueprint for designing the new warhead, officials said. A final go ahead is expected to be made by the president within two years, with the first warheads to be completed by 2012. It has not been determined how much the program will cost. The administration asked Congress for $119 million for the fiscal year beginning Oct. 1 to push ahead with further design work. Advocates for the warhead say it would give military commanders greater assurance of reliability and could speed the reduction of the deployed number of nuclear warheads from 6,000 to fewer than 2,000 by 2012. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
7:35 am	How can there be new footage of the JFK Assassination? Who keeps it under wraps this long? Also it shows nothing just Jackie O waving ooooooo!!! Conspirisy theorist will say this proves stuff. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
4:34 pm	Iran Ok so now we are building a case for invading Iran great, how about one war at a time. We still havent finished the war in Afganistan, lets make a surge there and stabilize taht befrore we increase troops in Iraq. But the Afgans have nothing we want so we wont and they'll become the terrorist haven, which will do the unthinkable and open Arab Disney! Which will be a terrorist strike of unthinkable distruction. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
2:01 pm	SciFi So today on SciFi is an X-Files marathon. Thankfully no episodes with Doggett yet. The current one being shown is the X-Files Cops episode which is just hilarious. The X-Files was always good at making fun of itself from time to time. Too bad david was such a dick near the end cause if he didnt leave the show would have made it to the 10th season then maybe a 2nd movie to end it all, but instead it whimppered to an end. Now the seasons on DVD are uber cheap on Amazon, the slim sets average $30, which is pretty sweet cause when they started to come out they where $100. Remember X-Files drinking game?? I got so drunk on my kit-kat bites! (Comment on this)
Monday, February 12th, 2007
4:54 pm	Minority Party I was just listening to TAL's episdoe from last weekend. Its about Houses of Ill-Repute. The last story is about the House of Representatives. They interviewed 6 people, 3 from each party. They interviewed them before the 2006 elections and in january 2007. Pretty much the majority party sounds exactly the same and the minority party sounds the same. Both minority parties bitch that the ones in power use all the retarded rules to get their shitty legislation passed. Both majority parties say "we do it only cause they did it first!" I got a very novel idea. Currently there are 435 representatives. 233 are dems and 202 are reps. So the Democrats are the Assholes du jour. Since this is supposed to be the wing thats all about the people lets shake it up a bit. Since the dems won the popular vote by 52% to the reps 45.6% and the others got 2.4%. Lets give the Dems 201 seats. The republicans get 200 seats. Of the remaining 34 seats the Libertians get 2 seats and the Rainbow/Green Party gets 2 seats. Now there are 30 seats left over. Since legislation can only be passed if 218 douche bags agree on it this would breed more debate. Oh right the last 30 seats these seats are filled in the only truely democratic way. There will be a door way in the house of representatives and every morning people will line up. The first 30 people who can pass the qualifications get to be a House member for that day. The qualifications are pretty easy, at 8am on monday you take a 1 hour test about congressional proceedures. Then once you pass this, pass is not like in college where 70% is a pass a 95% is needed to pass, you have your background checked. This checks for your criminal pass, which isnt that important we are just looking to see if you have done anything really crazy like been a member of either of the 4 parties. Then you take a number and if you are in the top 30 you get to be a representative for a day. The next 30 get tuesday and so on. It would be nice to bring the batshit demcratic process of greece into american politics. You get paid $452 for the day cause thats the daily salary of a representative. That and the nice back end is that each of the representatives gets free health care just like their new buddies in the house therefore by the end of the year 6,000 new people have healthcare for free. You can only serve once a decade so no people making careers out of this. Also it will get the guys who talk politics all the time to get off their ass and do something for a day. Now you may ask "Where do these 30 seats come from?" California gives up 10 so they still have 43, Florida gives up 3 so they still have 22, New York gives up 5 so they still have 24, Texas gives up 6 so they still have 26, Pennsyvannia and Illinois gives up 2 so they still have 17, Michigan gives up 1 so they still have 14, Ohio gives up 1 so they still have 17. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 8th, 2007
8:03 am	Last night on Bones: Bill S. Preston, Esq!!! So great to see he is still alive. (Comment on this)
Monday, February 5th, 2007
8:08 am	Comedy Central? I am not sure what was the wrost part of the last four days. The Colts winning the superbowl Seeing 1,000 Ghost Rider ads, including the movie tie in for a tax prep agency The Sarah Silverman Program Im going to go with the Sarah Silverman Program, because I feel it will be around longer and not because anyone will like the show its basically cause Comedy Central will air all the episodes it has in the can like they alway do with their shitty programming. Examples "The Naked Trucker and T-Bone Show", "Freakshow", "The Hollow Men", "Kid Notorious", "Primetime Glick", "Reno 911! (really do we need a movie?)", "That's my Bush" and "Wanda does it" Seriously who greenlights shows at Comedy Central?? Is it a group of retards or is it like "Well this show will take $100,000 to produce so its not going to lose us money so lets do it!" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 18th, 2007
7:45 am	Home: Super Bowl Edition With the Patriots once again making a Super Bowl run it makes me miss home more than any other reason. I still remember watching Super Bowl XXXI thinking the Packers where too good to beat that year. The Pats took the lead late in the first quarter then the Packers took over. During the game Chris was rocking a Dave Meggett jersey and I was rocking a Sam Gash jersey. Then Super Bowl XXXVI Patriots vs Rams. I had a few people over for the game. That's what I really miss. Having a large group of friends (5 people is a large group to me) to watch the Super Bowl with. This year I will be going to someone else' house to watch it on a massive projection screen tv, but its not the same. Having my friends (some that I have had since the early 80s) and of course my dad over for the game is the best. I did not miss that last year cause Seahawks vs Steelers was no fun. But this year it should be another Pats Super Bowl. I will miss my friends on the Super Bowl. Part of me wishes I could fly home for the game just to see everyone. When the Patriots beat the Colts they will make it to their 6th Super Bowl in franchise history. That will tie them with the Broncos and Steelers for 2nd all time. Now if you have only followed the Pats since 1994 that wouldn't be surprising, but from 1980 to 1993 the Pats had a 42.5% win percentage with 1 Super Bowl appearance (which they lost by a then record 36 points). Starting in 1994 (2nd year under Bill Parcells) the Patriots have become a respectable franchise with a 62% winning percentage and 4 Super Bowl appearances (3 wins - 1 loss). That's why bragging about the Pats feels so good. They had a culture of loosing for so long that I will ride this Dynasty til it ends. Go Pats!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 15th, 2007
9:45 am	MLK Day So its MLK Day. Im currently watching a show on the conspiracy to kill MLK. All conspiracy theories are great to listen to, most are just crazy, but its fun to really hear all the crazy ideas behind assassinations. JFK was shot by Lee Harvey Osvald, MLK was shot by James Earl Ray and RFK was shot by Linday Lohan...I mean Sirhan Sirhan. While vast conspiracies are fun to think up...like in 2001 the pats snowball game was just a conspiracy to have a team called the patriots to win the superbowl after 9/11 thus backing a US led war against terrorism...ok no one believes that one. The reason why these conspiracy theories are so loved is because its hard to believe that one man of no worth can kill another man of such great worth. That and JFK, MLK and RFK pissed off a lot of people who had guns and influence with the government. Therefore its not to hard to believe that the CIA, FBI, KKK or even Cuba would want to kill these men and had the opportunity. The sadder thing is that someone killed this men before they could finish their goals. Our country has suffered due to the loss of these men. Saddly enough we are still a racist country and it looks less and less likely this will change in my lifetime. With every year more hate builds in this country. It would be nice that after an event like 9/11 we would have come together as a country and grow from it. Saddly 5 years we are a less likable country and a more hate filled country. Its over 38 years since MLK died and his dream is over 100 years away from comming true. And saddly enough Black leaders now strive for things he would have hated. It would be nice to still have a leader the ilk of MLK, who was planning a run for the White House in 1972. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 10th, 2007
11:08 pm	Wow People are crazy So people on the right think that Pelosi is going to make turn the country into san francisco. So thats just weird since one side of congress cant get shit done without help from the other side. Pelosi isnt going to be a crazy liberal because there are no crazy liberals in congress, oh wait sorry there is one and he is a senetor from Vermont. True crazy liberals are never interviewed on tv or talked to seriously because they want universal healthcare, universal governement which controls everything and all of us get a paycheck exactly the same. NO ONE on the Democratic side has got the balls to be that liberal. Yet to be truely conservitive isnt in fashion either. I love the idea of taking the poorly planned and funded "No Child Left Behind" and throwing it into the toliet. I think it would be nice if the government said fuck it and gave up on sponsoring education cause the government cant help education. We are talking about a national government that cant even come together and say "evolution is probably right and creationism is clearly wrong." So say the national government gives up on education will america become dumber? Probably not, people like Bill Gates and Rupert Murdock would jump at the chance to sell shit to the youth and create schools in their image. I think the childeren of this country would become better educated and I wouldnt have to pay for shitty schools that I dont have anyone using the school system. Sidenote: Bush is now being compared to Lincoln? Im sorry the greatest public speaking president in the history of this country and the worst public speaker in this countrys history have nothing in common, except for the fact that both probably are gay. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 28th, 2006
1:44 pm	Ford So Gerald Ford died and Bush is declearing that Tuesday will be a national day of mourning. I get it that he was president, but really this was the only guy who ever held the office who was never elected not even elected as VP! He was appointed VP by Nixon after Agnew resigned and at that time no one knew what to do about a missing VP. There where questions if Nixon could even appoint somone as VP because its not stated in the Consitution. In fact that speaker of the house should have been given the job due to the articles of sussession. It would have been interesting, since Nixon left office only 8 months after Ford became VP, to have the speaker (Carl Albert Dem-OK) become VP. Then Carl Albert would have probably not have pardoned Nixon. Cause giving Nixon a pardon really set off a nice cain reaction. If Nixon was not pardoned maybe we would have given the office of the President something it really needs....FEAR. The President of the United States of America should always Fear its citizens, but thanks to Gerald Ford and his decision Nixon was able to spin his administration into that great library in Yorba Linda, CA. Now in the future when people go there they will see that he was just a victim. Ummmm.....No. He was an awful person, which saddly is becomming a prerecquite to being president, who was so miss trusting of anyone who didnt agree with them he would put them on his hitlist. So basically i just want to say to Gerald Ford, sorry you died, being an atheist i believe that death is final and no matter what I dont wish it on anyone, but if you could take it back would you? You helped create Bush, who you didnt argee with either. But its your fault you had the perfect opportunity to put FEAR back into the presidential office and you fumbled. I use fumbled cause you used to play for the Michigan football team and now everyone says what a great football player you where and where not the clumsy spoof Chevy Chase did. (Comment on this)